OFI 333: You Should Live In Fear…Fear Of Regret!

Show Notes

Do you ever sit up in the middle of the night with a thought so powerful you are wide awake?  I had one of those thoughts last night.  I have developed the habit of keeping note taking materials next to the bed so when this happens I can write the thought down.  Otherwise, it is gone forever.

Here is what I realized last night…..I want you to live in fear!

There is a fear that that will compel you to do something great and keep you from screwing up your life.

FEAR OF REGRET

I am not talking about the resistance that masquerades as regret – the kind that makes you think “I might “regret” that later.”  I am talking about when you know you will regret either doing or not doing something.

We talk all the time about overcoming fear on this show…fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of the unknown, etc.  My advice is always the same, “you have to overcome your fear to succeed, do not live in fear”.

When it comes to regret, this is different.  I want you to live in fear of regret.

The definition of regret is: to feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).

I realized that I have lived my whole life in fear of regret, and this fear has served me well.

If you have listened to much classic country music you have heard singers use the term “walk the line”.  I have heard this said a million times and I still don’t really know what they mean.  But when I woke up last night and thought about regret one example shot out to me glaringly clear…

Regret can be applied to two vastly different things – something you have done, and something you haven’t.

If you live your life in fear of regret you accomplish two things:

You avoid making mistakes that will at best set you back and taint the rest of your life, and at worst ruin the rest of your life and your chances of living a great lifestyle.

You will also do what feels right to you and live in such a way that when you look back you will not wish you had done something that is too late to do now.

That metaphorical line is the place between not doing something you will regret and passing on an opportunity that will leave you with regrets later.

This has served me very well in my life.  I can think of specific times when I almost stepped off of the line into the area of doing something that I would regret.  I can remember my exact thoughts, and they were dominated by a vision of me looking back and wishing I had never done that action.

I can also think of all the things I have done in the last 6 years, starting with the purchase of our farm, that I knew I wanted to do.  The biggest of all of these was starting my first agricultural business.  I can remember the night that I woke up from a dead sleep, panicked that if I did not order the gopher extermination machine I was going to miss an entire season and live to regret it.

CONTENTMENT

The destination we are all trying to reach is contentment.  For us that lies somewhere in the country, on a farm or in a small town.

If the substance that gives us the energy to keep trying to reach that place is gratitude, then being grateful for what you have and the opportunities put in front of you is what makes you get up tomorrow and do it all over again.

And if none of us really knows the exact route that leads to contentment (and we don’t), then living in fear of regret is the only way to find the correct path.  If you trust your intuition to keep you from doing something you will be sorry about later you will avoid mistakes that can impact the rest of your life.  And allowing that same gut feeling to compel you to take action because if you don’t you will look back and wish you did will keep you from looking back on life and wishing you had pursued something that you did not.

This is just like walking along a trail in the dark:

You reach your foot out carefully, feel for the trail and recognize when you are about to step off to one side.  It may not be the fastest or most glamorous way to get there, but fear of regret will get you to where you want to be.

I found two sayings that were preserved for history by a great author and farming historian named Jerry Apps in an article called Rural Wit & Wisdom, and I think they sum up the journey all of us are on very well:

“Farmers, more than anyone else, know the meaning of hope and patience—waiting months for a crop with the hope that it will amount to something.”

“Look down when walking in a cow pasture.”

So, step carefully on the trail.  Each side of the path is perilous and filled with regret.  Fear this regret and find the life that you are meant to live!

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